Zim and Gir go to the mall
by WhateverI'maPerson
Summary: Zim and Gir go to the local mall to observe hyoomans and mall products...this can NOT end well! Enjoy and R&R!


Invader Zim fanfic

rating: K+

Summary: Zim and Gir go to the mall to observe hyoomans... This can't end well... :)

Notes from the author: hi again everybody! Since my last IZ story got favorites so much, I decided to write another one! YAY! Thanks to all who reviewed and favorite my story ( waves to people). Alright, I don't own IZ or any thing I might use.

Mall Madness: Going to shop!

" Now remember Gir, " Zim said as he and Gir approached the entrance to the mall. " We are just here to observe the earth-stinks pathetic excuse for inventions and behavior. "

Awwwwwwwwww! " whined Gir in his shrill voice as he skipped in his doggy disguise beside his master. " But I wanted to get a Monkey. MUNKEY! "

" NO! " Zim almost shouting at his little SIR bot. He remembered the LAST time GIR brought a monkey into the base. By the time he got the primate out of the house, it left the base in chaos. Ripped plans, food strewn across the floor, damaged machines, and ' little gifts ' all over the floors. Zim discovered that the hard way...

" That horrible monkey. " Zim hissed as he cringed at the memory and clenched his fist. " Besides GIR, where would we keep- WHAT THE TALLEST IS THAT? "

Zim was reffering to the revolving door entrance to the mall. He watched as several people stepped into the door and walked to the other side with a raised eyebrow. " Hmmmmmmm," he mused while Gir started to hum the doom song and doing a little dance. " It's obvious that the door is some kind of force field to exclude unwanted trespassers. Well, there little door is no match for a mighty Irken brain like mine! Come GIR, let us rain doom on their pathetic plot.

" YAY! I likes Doom! ," Gir screeched as he followed his master to the door. " And Cupcakes! "

Zim approached the door with caution as if he was facing a lion, ready to pounce. When he reached the door, he stuck out a shaking hand and slowly touched the door. Zim straightened up when he realized the door wasn't a threat.

" See Gir, " he said with a smirk on his face. " These foolish hyooomans are no match for me! Victory for Zim! "

"SPINNY! "

Before the irken could react, he was pushed into the revolving door by a rocket booted GIR. They then commenced to spin around at a speed so fast, a cheetah would be dizzy.

" AHHHHHH! " zim screeched as he spun around, feeling a little sick.

Gir on the hand was having a ball.

"WEE HEE HOOOO! " screeched the disguised sir bot. " The wheels on tha piggy go round an' round. Tha wheels on tha piggy go up an' down, all through tha TACO! "

Fortunately for the Irken, a passing man walked over to the door and stopped the spinng.

Zim flew out with a scream and landed on the mall floor as several shoppers turned to look at the Irken. " Foolish HYOOOMAN! " Zim hissed as he slowly picked himself off the floor and summoned Gir who, for some unknown reason, had a squirrel in his tiny hands. "How dare you damage the mighty Invader Zim's head and all his brain meats! When I conquor this Filthy planet, YOU (and Dib) will be on my Revenge list, you, disgusting Earth monkey!

At this point, Zim was in a dramatic pose with his gloved hands above his head victoriously and he had his eyes closed, so he was oblivious to all the curious stares from residents who were shopping. After a good couple of minutes, Zim cracked one eye open to see that everyone was staring at him oddly.

" I'm NORMAL! " quickly screeched the alien as he quickly put his arms down and darted his eyes quickly at the mass of people. " I am here with my completely normal earth dog to spend a day at the shopping maaaaaaalllll. "

Gir decided to help convince the people by screaming out, "THERE BE A FROG IN MY HEADS! ", while waving his frantic squirrel around.

The people, being the ' simple minded earth monkeys ' they are, went immediately back to their activities like a green skinned child and a talking green dog never flew through the door.

Zim smirked as he dragged Gir over to the mall directory. "See GIR, these simple minded fools will beleive anything I tell them. They are NO match for the brain power of the MIGHTY IRKEN RACE! I mean look! "

Zim was now standing in front of the map pointing at it with an arm out dramatically. " They are stupid enough to leave an ENTIRE map of there building right where anyone can reach it! Those poor FOOLS! Now Gir, which shopping establishment shall we explore first? Gir? Gir! "

Zim turned to find that the dysfunctional sir bot was rolling on the floor with an insane grin on his face, but imediately hopped up when he saw his master was watching him.

" Gir, what do you think? "

" I WAZ ROLLIN ON THA FLOOR! "

" Yes, very nice Gir, but what shop should we-"

" WANNA SEE ME DO IT AGAIN? "

" ...No, where should we go-"

" DO YA? DO YA? DO YAH? DO YAH? "

" GIR! Stop this now! "

Gir quickly stopped and as his eyes glowed a faint red underneath his dog costume, saluted. " Yes my master! What is your request? "

Zim stood up straighter at this and smiled. " THATS BETTER! Now which store should we go to? "

" Tha cupcake store! " Gir screeched, his eyes turning back to their normal cyan. " And tha toy store, and the PIGGIE store! "

Zim just rolled his eyes and turned back to the map. 'Why couldn't I have had a normal minion? Just for one day?' The Irken thought as he searched for a store to research. He stopped when he found a store that sounded interesting.

" Gir! This store called ' Bath and Body Works ' looking resourceful! Maybe they tell you information on the hyoomans and how the function! Ooooh how I would like to see the look on Dib-stinks giant head when I unveil the secrets I learn about how his puny body works! " Zim announced happily while starting off in the direction of the store. " Come Gir, let us go. "

" OR THEY COULD HAV BABIES THAT SHOOT JAM OUTTA THEIR HEADS! " Gir screeched as he raced after his master, his tiny feet squeaking.

(I will give a cookie to the person who guesses that reference first. * holds up cookie *)

Ignore me I'm a time skip

Zim was now standing in front of the Bath and Body Works with Gir by his side, eating a cupcake.

It had taken awhile to actually get to the store thanks to a certain disgused, green dog who had insisted running away every two minutes to look at ' PRETTY STUFFS '. Plus, Gir had wanted to go to the cupcake store and promptley, asked Zim to take him. And by asking, I mean draging him into the store against his will. This explains how he got the cupcake.

" Now, Gir, we shall go into this store and discover the secrets that will obtain through the doom of our enemies. " Zim said as he stared at the entrance to the of the store with glee in his eyes. "YAY! Then can we gets a taco? "Gir screeched while hopping on his feet happily. " THA PORK ONES? "

Zim looked at his robot with a confused look on his face as he realized something he had learned in skool.

" ...Gir, do you know what pork is? "

" IT'S MADE WITH DOOM AN' TACO! "

" ... No it's not. Gir, pork is made of pig. "

Gir just stared ahead, not understanding what had just been said. " So, it has taco in its? "

Zim rolled his eyes as he put his three, clawed hands on his hips. His SIR could be REALLY clueless sometimes.

" Pig, Gir. You know, like the Piggies you worship. "

" WHAT THA PIGGIES? NOOOOOoooooooo! Not tha piggies! AaAh! AAH! AAH! "

Gir flung himself onto the mall floor and was having a little breakdown about his poor piggies. His little paws were flailing everywhere as he commenced to scream.

" GIR! Calm down! GIR! " Zim screamed at the SIR, trying to settle him down. Gir screamed for a couple more seconds before suddenly, hopping up onto his tiny feet and stopped screaming. He stayed like that for a couple of seconds and looked up at his master with a tiny smile. " So, can I gets a pork taco, mastah? "

Zim just stared at the robot with his mouth open. He then shook himself out of it and walked to the store while he face palmed; the source of his headache skipping behind him while sticking his tounge out.

The first thing Zim noticed was the overpowering, sweet odor that hung in the air of the store. He recoiled at first, not expecting a strong smell like this, while watching several girls walking around the store, looking at the different stands.

" Why does it smell like a combination of the female hyooman earth stinks in here?" Zim wondered out loud as he walked around the store with Gir at his heels.

" I WANNA SMELLS PRETY! " Gir giggled while running off in a random direction while leaving a bewildered Zim to walk around alone.

' Bottles filled with colorful liquids, tubes full of sticky goop, and smiling rubber duckies? Who are the earths stinks fooling? Do they think they can trick the ALMIGHTY ZIM so easily; with their pathetic excuse for a diversion to keep me away from the information about themselves?' Zim thought to himself as he walked around looking the several displays.

He was about to walk further, when he felt a hand tap his shoulder. Zim spun around to see a smiling, teenage girl with dark, wavy hair and a nametag that said; ' Becca ' on it holding a small bottle full of an orage liquid.

" Why have you stopped me from fulfilling my quest, earth beast? " Zim asked the girl while narrowing his eyes. Becca just smiled as she held out the small bottle.

" Hello sir, Welcome toBathand Body Works! Would you like to try a sample of our newest product, PearBerry? It has become really popular lately. "

Zim cocked an eyebrow while eying the PearBerry suspiciously. " A sample Huh? Hmmmmmmmmmm ..." Zim picked up the bottle and looked at it more closely. He tried spraying it a couple times before opening his mouth and spraying some in his mouth.

The Irkens eyes widdened in disgust as the taste of the perfume hit his tongue. He started to cough and spit as he threw the bottle far away from as possible.

. "THIS tastes NOTHING LIKE PEAR or BERRIES! How dare you try to poison the mighty Zim! "Said irken screeched as he ran out of the door, wiping his tongue.

Gir, who had been trying on lipgloss by putting it all over his disguise, heard his master's screams ran after him yelling; " Ares we playing the screamin game? I wanna play! AHH AGH AHH! "

Becca, the salesgirl, watched the two leave as she stood there in shock. After a couple of seconds, she frowned as she grabbed the perfume bottle and walked off. "This SO isn't worth $5.50 a hour." she mumbled under her breath.

Hello! Didn't you read the first time! Time skip!

"Well Gir, the mall trip may have been a waste, but at least we know now not to trust The MALL!." Zim said as he walked out the entrance of the mall with his Sir-bot at his side. Zim had run all over the mall until he found a water fountain where he proclaimed that malls were evil and that he wanted to get back to the base to work on another plan.

"BUT I GOTS a CUPCAKE! " Gir said as he walked. " Now I wants to goes to aARCADE! "

Zim looked at the SIR with confusion in his eyes.

"Arcade, what's an arcade? "

"Its a place where little peoples go an spend moooneys to play games! "

" Hmmmmmmm. A place where earth babies go and offer up their currency to play mindless games? Maybe we should check it out sometime! "

"YAY! Maybe I can wins a MOONKEY! "

"As long as it's a stuffed one, Gir. " Zim said as the duo headed back to the base after a long day at the mall.

{THE END! } Holy cow! That was fun! I kept coming up ideas! This is fun to write! :D Well I'm gonna ask you a question, should I write a squeal where they go to the arcade? Put your opinion in the review! Thanks for reading and PLEASE! Review! Thanks!

~ Freakazette Raven


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